Yesterday afternoon I cut work early to pull on my runners, breathed through some anxiety to accomplish a good run with a friend helping with the meeting preparations. The anxiety didn’t hang around long at all. It honestly faded within the first few steps, as I started to talk about what I wanted to achieve, and my thoughts. Within 15 minutes Chris had the meeting mapped out and knew what we wanted to achieve and how to go about it. Seriously the biggest weight off my shoulders. And the best way to roll with a meeting. Who doesn’t like a casual meeting where you get to do what you love at the same time!
I rang a friend soon after to say how awesome I felt. There was no emotional strain like the previous day. I wasn’t fully analysing it. I was smiling from ear to ear. Even when I hung up the phone and sat in front of the heater all night, (I am a sucker for inhaling the heater in winter), I didn’t panic, I didn’t question any of it. I am ready to tackle this meeting and I am grateful for the help of Chris and the other friends standing right beside me in this. Right now I have some anxiety, but I couldn’t care less about it. It is just there, and I am not going to give it the time of day today.
My run this morning was perfect. I went to see the sun kiss the ocean, slap my mum a high five and run back home. She would be proud at me being this determined little shit. I haven’t changed.
I still remember the day I wanted to return to my high school, stand in the hall in front of all of those students, and tell them everything that had happened to me. I wanted to educate every single one of them in child sexual assault. It was before I went to the Supreme Court I had this vision. Who would have thought, that this meeting to me is like living this dream, and I am about to achieve it, and live it. I love that in almost 20 years, none of this has ever escaped me. It is what makes me tick. I have that strength and power inside of me to make changes, and to help by using my voice and knowledge.
The countdown is on, with more meetings in the next week to follow up, and to fine tune it.
Grateful to Be Brave. H