the ride to be brave {braver}

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This September I am planning on a bike ride from Sydney to the bottom of Victoria. Last weekend we were discussing it, even mapping it out, and it was starting to sound more of a social event than one that could help others.

I know that people do things like this all the time, just because they like to ride their wheels, and challenge themselves, or hang out with the people they are going to do it with. They see it as an adventure. To me, I see it as a whole lot more.

I grew up being told I was not enough. I was not good enough to be anything more than nothing. I wasn’t verbally told this. I was told this from the voices in my head. Sometimes those voices are still around, telling me that I am not worth being around, having a good life with, that I don’t deserve awesome, success and love. I however have this ability to turn these negative thoughts into something more by challenging myself.

So this September, I am going to ride, be social, conquer some cycling fears, take my inner child and share my story. I don’t really know how to explain why I am the way I am, why I put myself into such big holes of worthlessness, and then the next moment you capture the strong woman that is empowering others as much as she is herself.

I go into that fright or flight mode a bit, less than I used to. You will know when I am frightened. Sometimes you cannot pick when I have flown away, as you still have me standing in front of you. I am pretty sure I will be in fright mode on the ride!

September I will ride to inspire, to show you that you can overcome child sexual assault, you can survive, you can be more than a label, you can be you, and you can drive a force bigger than anything you ever thought physically possible. I may break a little, I will no doubt hurt, as I ride over 1000km to face my own fears, which in turn will drive someone else to be more than they thought they were.

I will ride for me. And for you.

With this personal challenge in September, I will be thinking about my childhood, other victims of child sexual assault, survivors, and people who know those that have faced those monsters. From this ride I will build up more strength to challenge changes within our communities, Governments and Country.

I will also be social, because without social, I wouldn’t be the person I am, and I wouldn’t be sharing my story the way I do.

Let the adventure begin!

 

{I now have a punctured tyre to attend to. First one in 18 months. Won’t be the last}!

bda

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