I have this issue. It is maybe not so normal, probably one of my things that I have. Maybe you too have it? As you may know I am trying to date again, and it isn’t as easy as I thought it might be. You have to let layers of yourself down really fast, maybe too fast. I have had some dates ask for everything in one night. And if you don’t declare some things that is it, you are done! You are no longer date worthy. Well, shivers, imagine if you know it all, all of what makes me tick, and why I tick the way I do.
Yes, I quite often receive lovely messages from customers and blog readers who tell me that I am an inspiration, and it is really soul pumping. However trust me, that soul can be deflated a lot with some reactions. However I have learned to love me the way I am, and trust in all that I am will be enough one day for someone. My closest friends say that if a man doesn’t accept all of me, all of this Be Brave journey, then they are not right for me.
I just don’t like the feeling that I feel I wouldn’t be good enough just because my father made me feel not good enough for anything in life. And when I think about, wow, I surely showed him and shoved it up him, right where the sun doesn’t shine. A woman that didn’t get the chance to go to University because I was sitting in court rooms, became a whole lot. I am still proud of teaching myself to be a graphic designer and having a proper full time job in that position, earning the same as those that were able to study ‘properly.’ I think you are what you make of yourself. Even though it might not be the perfect path of life I have walked on, I have run down this road, looped around, tripped over my own two feet, walked on my hands, crawled, and I have built a life that is incredible for me to stand back from and admire. Thank you to my mum for telling me I could be anything I wanted to be, as long as my heart was in it.
And I have done it all by myself.
I guess this issue I have, isn’t so bad when I truly think about it. The Be Brave journey I have been on for all of my life, is a journey that has shaped me and which is me. They do say there is no better person to be but yourself. Plus as I wrote on an Instagram image the other day, (the image above), I truly am incredibly happy with my life, with the person I am, and the life I have built for my beautiful children. I am ready, however I am also happy being just me. Someone grabbing this heart of mine will be a bonus and no doubt a great asset to our lives too. The world is all online now, and so am I along with my deepest darkest secrets….. And as you would all know, child sexual assault shouldn’t be a secret and that is why I do what I do with awareness and education. I want to change the world.
I don’t have an issue anymore.
Be Brave. H