the letter to today’s anxiety

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Dear Anxiety,

I have just about had enough of you interfering with my life. Not only do you make me feel terrible in the chest, to the point where I feel like I am going to stop breathing, but you also make me feel like an incompetent mother. I couldn’t even break up simple squabbling by my children this morning. Each time I tried to, they ignored me, and continued to not only press each others buttons, but press mine too. They had no idea they were pressing my buttons, although you sure knew it. You made me feel like I was helpless, and I wanted to runaway and hide in the bathroom. I almost went for a quick walk.

Instead I stood there, breathed through it, waited for them to finish what they were fighting about, and tried to control them again. I put one child on one side of the warehouse and the other child over the other side. I was still being choked by you. You don’t give up easily on me, especially when I am in situations where I cannot walk away and be by myself.

I can’t exactly leave my children alone whilst we hang out to sort our differences out, now can I?

They decided to keep pushing and pushing from one end of the warehouse to the other. They got closer and closer to each other without me noticing, until you squeezed my chest again, whilst they pushed each other to another argument. I was too busy worrying about breathing you out of me, to even know what they were fighting about.

Do you know, my own daughter had to help me get rid of you in the end. Well, she didn’t do all of the work, as I worked on you for over two hours. All she did was come and start helping me with the task I was doing. That was after she hugged it out with her brother. I don’t think it is fair that a 10 year old is the one that gets you to completely go away. I am an adult, and I couldn’t get you to leave me alone.

I don’t look forward to seeing you again, and hope that you nick off for a while. Have a nice trip faraway from me.

Good riddance.

H.

bda

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