Strength means a lot of different things to people. You can draw your meaning from a moment in life, or the time you lifted something heavier than you ever believed you could. (How good is that feeling)! For me it is more than the big bulging muscles you may have on your arm; it comes from within. It would be pretty cool to win an arm wrestle, but I would be the loser every time. When it comes to the strength in me, I am going to win hands down. Not that this is any competition with anyone but myself.
Back when I left my hometown to start this new life, with a new name, I started by tattooing myself for the first time. It was the Japanese symbol for strength, and today it sits nicely next to my stretch marks on my tummy. There is nothing like having your personal symbol for the battle, right next to the scars of being pregnant with my two loves. Strength is the reminder for me on how well I did standing up in front of him in court. They were up there with the two toughest days of my life. It is like reliving the abuse, and all those people in the court not helping you. He is there, you are there, and you still feel so vulnerable. Although that is the moment you realise you have the strength and he has nothing.
Strength can be measured in many forms, and in a week I am surely going to have mine measured up. I think this is more about courage, than the strength inside. The Premier doesn’t need to hear about my strength, he needs to hear how I can help share that commitment inside of me to empower and throw knowledge at the community, and most importantly our children. I have the structure worked out. Now it is piecing a few things together, but I am ready. My stomach is doing back flips! I am not sure if it knows which end is up. No doubt it will do another flip around this time next week, and I can start planning off the back of the meeting. It all levels out in the end. I always do!
Counting the sleeps now, preparing and practicing. But not too much, because I have always done well with the Premier being me, and sharing my knowledge and stories. There is no better person to be in this. I think the stomach doing back flips is from the fact this has never been about me, it is about child protection as a whole.
A busy week ahead, with a hope for some good sleep! At least I have my littles to bring the life out of me, so I don’t over analyse or prepare for something I have been preparing for most of my life.
Be Brave. H