Will the crash come? The early mornings can be tough. I sometimes hit snooze a few times, however I still get up. I see 6 out of 7 sunrises each week. Sometimes I see the 7th as I cannot sleep in. I do feel my focus on recovery is what keeps me going. I am trying very hard to stay on top of nutrition and sleep, along with some nice time recovering my legs in the ocean. If I can keep these two flowing, then I don’t think my legs will stop moving. I hope that the determination and my heart will see me get to the end of the ride, and there will be no crash. Maybe this is my time. You know that time you don’t need to think about where you came from, but where you are going.
My time to shine.
Emotionally I am sure it will be very tough for me, and I will need to dig right into the inner strength I have built up over the years to help keep this at a level that allows me to still get the final results I am wanting to achieve. Like I have said before, maybe it will be a very solo, lonely ride. However I do have hope that those that have already said they will ride with me, will ride with me. Because my voice alone is not big enough, as much as I would like to believe it is with all that I have achieved. It still isn’t enough.
I know I am strong, and I also respect that at times I can be weak. I think it is alright to show that I still hurt, and that I am really scared. Because to be honest, I am scared. Really scared. I have been lucky enough to find healing in running and cycling, and I hope that I can inspire others along the way to believe in themselves. Because for me that was my biggest downfall in life. My father made me feel like nothing, like I wasn’t worth anything more than what he made me feel like. It takes a whole lot of courage, strength and love to bring yourself out of such a hole. It is a pretty awesome feeling believing in yourself and what you are doing, and why you are doing it. I guess this is what a person with a ‘normal’ childhood feels like.
Nice to be living a ‘normal’ adult life.
March 27th I leave Sydney. Come shine with me.