be brave louis theroux & cycle with me

The day I met Louis Theroux is one I will never forget. I am not sure if he will remember me, he meets so many people. I was shaking like you wouldn’t believe. I wanted more than the time I had with him, and I also didn’t really want the audience at that moment in time. I wanted to share my whole story, what I was doing, why he should be following my journey and I wanted to see how he could help me. That evening I said enough, enough for Louis to tell me I was braver than he is. That is all I needed to hear in that moment.

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After meeting Louis I had a meeting with a gentleman that is helping me write letters to the appropriate people regarding my cycling challenge. He is also working on a press release. I told him what I wanted, what I was expecting from this challenge and where my head was at. He told me what I might expect in the way of negative responses. I feel I am ready for them. When I went to court the Barrister ripped me apart. To the point I was not prepared for. He told me that I wanted it. That the child I was would return to my father’s room because I wanted to be abused, when my father came to get me whilst I slept, I wanted to go with him. Even writing that makes me feel sick. How could a child ever ask for that, want that? Even an adult being raped or abused? We don’t ask for it!

It is difficult when in my head the whole process is very black and white, and in the head of the government, it is every single colour of the rainbow, along with the question of votes and popularity. This isn’t a popularity contest, this is about our children, and someone in power finally standing up and pulling child sexual assault out from under the carpet to put systems in place and make changes now. Why are we waiting?! What are you waiting for?

I will vote for you!

I visually see myself pull it out, and I have people literally pull it out of my hands and kick it back under. Over the last few weeks I have had more than my friends stand beside me pulling it back out, I have had people I don’t even know want to stand right beside me and hold it out where it should be. I know this ride might end up being solo, I know it may not even involve media, or the response that needs to be had from the government. But I surely won’t give up. It isn’t in me to stop. Plus, look at what I have achieved in my solo quest to share my story. I cannot believe that I have had people share their stories for the first time, I have had people run for the first ever time, people run for me, when I couldn’t and now people are asking to cycle with me, train with me, and even cycling for the first time too. It is incredible to inspire in so many different ways.

On the weekend I went for a solo cycle. I ended up cycling with two different men at some stage during the ride, sharing a few cycling stories and just talking stuff. It was nice to have someone there as I was pushing myself hard. Up one of the hills, I had one man in front of me, and one behind me. We were drafting each other up the hill and it was awesome. I truly do picture that in the solo cycle. However if it is just me, my own heart driving me through, and the support crew, I will be ok. This journey has been a solo one from the moment I stood up to my father. I am training mostly solo, no programs are being written for me, I am writing them with listening to my body, and fueling it, and conditioning it with my physio when needed. There will come a point where it isn’t about the physical aspect of the cycle, it will be very mental. It will be all about the head strength that I have built up over the years of surviving. The emotional side will be tough as I have a focus, and sadly when you do things like this, all memories flood back if you want them or not. I am strong, brave and I do have the courage to share all of me during this time.

From now until the ride I will try to update the journey from the good the bad and the awesome as I start to step up the training where and when I can. Thank you for the ongoing support!

I am ready. If I was asked to leave tomorrow morning I would be ready physically, and mentally to start. Although I changed a puncture last night, so I need more tubes before I go!

{Yes I changed my puncture on my own, the back wheel, no swearing either, and not one tantrum. It probably took me twice as long as anyone else, but it was working well this morning and it didn’t fall off; therefore a success}!

 

Be Brave. H

bda
  • January 25, 2017 - 10:54 pm

    Lou - Amazing sister xxReplyCancel

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