Be Brave; don’t question yourself!

Have you ever thought what the fark am I doing? I think that quite often, but continue to do it and move forward. I try to not stop and question it too much, as that would mean I am questioning myself, and no one wants to question themselves. Could you imagine that? You would be forever in stop and start mode. Sometimes these things I am doing, or thinking of doing come tumbling down, along with me, and I just brush myself off, (sometimes with a few scars and tears), and get on with it. I know the end result that I am trying to achieve, and if it means some more tears and a few scars, then so be it. Thinking too much gives me that stupid, annoying anxiety and it is back again now. I thought I had the whole thing under control, but I guess the thought of what is ahead of me is a little too much for one woman to take, especially as I have an emotional connection to why I am doing this whole Be Brave journey.

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I have this huge list of things to do as the ride becomes a little too real for me. I am trying to juggle the fact I have a lot of data entry to do with my business, the training, and my head coming to terms with what the fark I am doing! Like I said, I cannot question it, just go with it. What is the worst thing that can happen? I fall off my bike and have a scar? My loading of winter stock for my business is a week late? My doctor has to overload me in herbs again to keep the anxiety away? In the end, it doesn’t really matter, I am human, trying to be someone that makes huge changes in how we are aware of child abuse. There has to be some good that comes from it. A sore chest is the least of my worries!

Today I happily handed over some responsibilities to a close friend, who will also be right there with me the whole journey, {thank you – although I feel she was that kid in the classroom busting out of their seat with their hand up – absolute legend}. I have told her she needs to tell me to eat, be completely bossy and be there when I need to lean on her. Because I have no doubt there will be quite a few tears; tears of pain, joy and tears of hope. I also need to do things I have never done before to get this all happening and I hope that with the contacts I have, and with the fact I quite like to write, I can nail a press release and receive some more support. I have a phone call to make next week that could just tick off a whole lot of this planning.

If I leave and I have just my bike, cycling kit, and my support crew, I will be ok. The end result may not happen on this Be Brave challenge, however I have no doubt it will happen in my lifetime. I am like a bull at a gate. I won’t give up; there are too many gates. I just need that one person to open it up. Imagine that. One person that opens the gate, which finally opens up the world to child abuse awareness at a level that creates the changes.

I have two gorgeous children that have my drive in their hearts too, and they will take over if I die trying.

bda

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